I found this trait “prominently subtle” in men. Not being sexist. But it is true. The more successful the man is, the more vain he can be. Women express vanity in clothes, jewellery and body shape. Man expresses it in wealth, status and indeed many in their clothes and shoes as well, not just cars and beautiful girlfriends.

“They think I am rich.”
“They think I am capable.”
“They think I am beautiful.”

Once we have this feeling in us, we feel good about ourselves. I suppose there’s nothing about that. We all want (and sometimes desperate) to look good in other people’s eyes. It’s a matter of degree. Life is about balance, isn’t it?

Let’s do a test about the degree of vanity in you by truthfully answering the following questions:

1) Do you always notice that everyone seems to look at you when you are in a party?
2) Do you always go for the best possible top of the line products (no matter it is the Finest line in a supermarket, or a car or gadgets or a handbag) even you know it will be stretching your budget limit?
3) Do you always look into a mirror?
4) Do you like to meet important people a lot, like celebrity, senior government officials, or a very rich person etc.?
5) Do you always want to talk about your holidays but find it difficult or boring to listen to other people’s holiday experience?
6) Are you over-exercising?
7) Do you still dream to do something that you don’t normally do and will surprise all your friends, like writing a novel, starting a big business, getting a degree or buying a second home just to impress?
Do you feel you are richer than most of your friends?
9) Are you feeling a bit embarrassed by some of your family members?
One last question:
10) How many pairs of shoes do you have? – for women
10) What type of car are you driving? – for men

Keep the answers to yourself.

Vanity has a lot to do with class. According to some sociologists, people want to distinguish themselves as a different class by acquiring a special taste or knowledge in certain things, like the knowledge of wine. By demonstrating special knowledge in appreciating wine, they put themselves above many.

Personally, I must admin, the older I get, the more vain I become. Or may be it’s just simply a struggle between managing the peer group pressure and striving for a better life for ourselves?

Yes vanity is empty. Vanity also plays a part in the over 40s in order to maintain the balance of self-esteem that is constantly challenged by the ups and downs in life.

I wish we all play it well.

Those in my age (in the 40s) know very well that he has been part of our life. It did not matter where you lived. It did not matter whether you liked pop music or not. You could not be possible not heard of Michael Jackson if you are in my age. He was everywhere. He is still everywhere. I did not realize the scale of the impact only after his death. He united so many people in so many different parts of the world – from USA to Russia, from New Zealand to Scotland. His music and he himself as a person brought people together. The impact was so strong that it had surpassed any religion or political differences.

The last few days were spent in wandering along the memory lane of our youth by listening to Michael Jackson’s songs repeatedly.  Read his interviews. Looked at his photos. Read stories about his trial. I wish I had known him more. I wish I had been more connected to him.

The more I read, the more I realized how much the world has just lost – a generous genius, who has given all his gift to us – to entertain us, to inspire us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to make us feel good and to tingle our emotions.

He might not be perfect as a human being. That made him one of us. We all have our confusions, temptations, emotions. I did not hear him judge anyone in any of his interviews.  Also, being in the PR business for over 20 years, I know very well the destructive power and the capability of fact-twisting and sensationalizing technique of the media. Sometimes, they may not do it with intention. Unfortunately, journalists are also human beings. They form their own opinions on things and use part of the facts to support their opinion and the clever ones with words can create a real drama.

No one can judge the personal life of Michael Jackson. In fact, no one can judge anybody’s personal life.

Look at the joy and hope he brought to those many children in sickness. I finish this mourning by using one of his own songs he wrote in honor of a pediatric AIDS victim Ryan White. Now I use this to mourn my feelings for Michael Jackson, the true giver.

Like A Comet
Blazing ‘Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

If you feel the same, join me and leave your comments.

One quarter of the population on this earth are Chinese. Just in China alone, there are 1.3 billion people. As I am writing, how many more are born? It is impossible to generalize the tactics to deal with different Chinese people. Here I am sharing with you some of my experience from working in the area and being a Chinese myself! Remember: this is my personal experience only. You need to spend time, show respect and open your mind in order to understand anybody, as it is true in all human relationships.

There are so many different aspects involved in understanding Chinese. You can take the approach of ideology, business, philosophy, religion, economy and of course the most trendy “the art of war“.

What is the religion in China?

What is the religion in China? Or what are the religions in China? Tradionally, do the Chinese believe in God? I need to be careful. This is a theological question, but with political sensitivity. Everybody knows that one of the Communist’s ideologies during Chairman Mao period was “religion is poison”.

The basic philosophies which formed more or less the traditional Chinese moral system are Ru (Confucius), Fo (Buddhism) and Dao (Daoism, also called Taoism).

These are philosophies, not religion, because they do not point us to worship any specific deity. But the values between parents and children, between husbands and wives, between emperors and citizens, between different hierachies are laid-out. It is the norm that seniority deserves respect. This belief of giving respect to your seniors is very much deep-rooted in the value sytem of the Chinese. That may explain some of the behaviours of the Chinese government.

Fate is another subject that derived from the 3 major streams of philisophies, especially from Taoism. Fate is something mysterious, beyond our control. Our life is somehow guided by fate. The way to deal with it is to come to terms with fate. Another major concept, which comes from the Buddhism, is Yuan Fen (an ordained tie that brings people together, especially couples). This Yuan Fen is a lubricant in all sorts of relationships, be it business or personal. There are so many manufacturers, why do I feel particularly drawn to you? Apart from you have a better offer, Chinese believe, it is Yuan Fen that brought us together.

So, go back to the question. Traditionally, do the Chinese believe in God? My own personal view is yes. Chinese believe in “a” God. We have sayings from the ancient books like “3 feet above there is a God”, “the heaven’s net is tight, you can’t run away with it” (meaning if you have committed a crime, no where you can hide), “you will be punished by what you did, if not today, the time will come”. This concept in heaven forms the conscience in our heart which guards our behaviour.

There are so many different aspects involved in understanding Chinese. You can take the approach of ideology, business, philosophy, religion, economy and of course the most trendy “the art of war“.

What is the language?

Mandarin is the official language in China, although people in different parts of China may speak their own dialets. For example, Cantonese is the predominant spoken language in Hong Kong and most of Guangdong province.

When it comes to written Chinese, the gramma and style are more or less the same in Mandarin and Cantonese (of course there are different colloquials). The only major difference is that people within Mainland China write in simplifeid characters and people in Hong Kong and Taiwan write in traditional Chinese characters. It is confusing, isn’t it? Yes, the dramatic history of China has produced variations in culture and languages in different parts of the country.

BTW, there is no such thing as written Cantonese. Many of the words in spoken Cantonese are simply non-existent. The sentence structure is also different from the written language. That is why it is more difficult for foreigners to learn Cantonese than Mandarin. In recent years, the media and some writers in Hong Kong try to make up words they speak into written format. I guess years later, there may be a developed system of written Cantonese!

Be careful when you first learn to speak Mandarin or Cantonese, there are 4 intonations in one Mandarin word and 9 in a Cantonese word. If your intonation is slightly off, it can mean something totally different!

To make it simple, here is a chart:

]]> http://www.elainer.com/2009/06/chinese-language/feed/ 0 http://www.elainer.com/2009/06/li-jiang/ http://www.elainer.com/2009/06/li-jiang/#comments Sun, 14 Jun 2009 20:19:33 +0000 ElaineR http://www.elainer.com/?p=55 Li Jiang is a very beautiful place. Do you agree?

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It is indisputable that China’s growing economy has got huge business potential.

Either you want to sell to or buy from China, here are some pointers:

1) Know what is Greater China Area
First of all, you will need to understand what is Greater China Area and how do they operate logistically and what are the differences in terms of culture and government policy.
Greater China Area includes China (also called Mainland China or PRC), Hong Kong and Taiwan. Each has its unique histoy, economic development and even language (e.g. Hong Kong speaks Cantonese and writes in traditional Chinese, Taiwan speaks Mandarin and writes in traditional Chinese and Mainland China speaks Mandarin but writes in simplified Chinese. More info can be found in Chinese language). Before you start your business, it is important to do some research on the differences.

2) Play by the rules
Economically, China is growing stronger and stronger everyday. To do business with China or start up a business in China, you need to know that the government has laid out rules for foreign companies to follow. China is vast. I respect its leaders because it is not easy at all to maintain the stability. Rules are absolutely important. Find a lawyer or a trusted organization to help you get started.