Most of us are vain in nature.

I found this trait “prominently subtle” in men. Not being sexist. But it is true. The more successful the man is, the more vain he can be. Women express vanity in clothes, jewellery and body shape. Men express it in wealth, status and indeed many in their clothes and shoes as well, not just cars and beautiful girlfriends.

“They think I am rich.”
“They think I am capable.”
“They think I am beautiful.”

Once we have this feeling in us, we feel good about ourselves. I suppose there’s nothing wrong about that. We all want (and sometimes desperate) to look good in other people’s eyes. It’s a matter of degree. Life is about balance, isn’t it?

Let’s do a test about the degree of vanity in you by truthfully answering the following questions:

1) Do you always notice that everyone seems to look at you when you are in a party?
2) Do you always go for the best possible top of the line products (no matter it is the Finest line in a supermarket, or a car or gadgets or a handbag) even you know it will be stretching your budget limit?
3) Do you always look into a mirror?
4) Do you like to meet important people a lot, like celebrity, senior government officials, or a very rich person etc.?
5) Do you always want to talk about your holidays but find it difficult or boring to listen to other people’s holiday experience?
6) Are you over-exercising?
7) Do you still dream to do something that you don’t normally do and will surprise all your friends, like writing a novel, starting a big business, getting a degree or buying a second home just to impress?
Do you feel you are richer than most of your friends?
9) Are you feeling a bit embarrassed by some of your family members?
One last question:
10) How many pairs of shoes do you have? – for women
10) What type of car are you driving? – for men

Keep the answers to yourself.

Vanity has a lot to do with class. According to some sociologists, people want to distinguish themselves as a different class by acquiring a special taste or knowledge in certain things, like the knowledge of wine. By demonstrating special knowledge in appreciating wine, they put themselves above many.

If we are honest with ourselves, the older we get, the more vain we become. Or may be it’s just simply a struggle between managing the peer group pressure and striving for a better life for ourselves?

Yes vanity is empty. Vanity also plays a part in the over 40s in order to maintain the balance of self-esteem that is constantly challenged by the ups and downs in life.

I wish we all play it well.

I am mourning for the death of Michael Jackson.

Those in my age (in the 40s) know very well that he has been part of our life. It did not matter where you lived. It did not matter whether you liked pop music or not. You could not be possible not heard of Michael Jackson if you are in my age. He was everywhere. He is still everywhere. I did not realize the scale of the impact only after his death. He united so many people in so many different parts of the world – from USA to Russia, from New Zealand to Scotland. His music and he himself as a person brought people together. The impact was so strong that it had surpassed any religion or political differences.

The last few days were spent in wandering along the memory lane of our youth by listening to Michael Jackson’s songs repeatedly.  Read his interviews. Looked at his photos. Read stories about his trial. I wish I had known him more. I wish I had been more connected to him.

The more I read, the more I realized how much the world has just lost – a generous genius, who has given all his gift to us – to entertain us, to inspire us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to make us feel good and to tingle our emotions.

He might not be perfect as a human being. That made him one of us. We all have our confusions, temptations, emotions. I did not hear him judge anyone in any of his interviews.  Also, being in the PR business for over 20 years, I know very well the destructive power and the capability of fact-twisting and sensationalizing technique of the media. Sometimes, they may not do it with intention. Unfortunately, journalists are also human beings. They form their own opinions on things and use part of the facts to support their opinion and the clever ones with words can create a real drama.

No one can judge the personal life of Michael Jackson. In fact, no one can judge anybody’s personal life.

Look at the joy and hope he brought to those many children in sickness. I finish this mourning by using one of his own songs he wrote in honor of a pediatric AIDS victim Ryan White. Now I use this to mourn my feelings for Michael Jackson, the true giver.

Like A Comet
Blazing ‘Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

If you feel the same, join me and leave your comments.